1 00:00:05.644 --> 00:00:08.378 Wow. We got to get a better vacuum cleaner. 2 00:00:08.414 --> 00:00:11.381 Got a tree growing right out of the middle of the living room. 3 00:00:11.417 --> 00:00:14.117 Yeah, it's a good one this year, Mike, yeah. 4 00:00:14.153 --> 00:00:17.540 And the smell, it's just... it's-it's like it's hanging 5 00:00:17.890 --> 00:00:19.556 from a rearview mirror. 6 00:00:19.592 --> 00:00:20.958 Don't get too attached to it. 7 00:00:20.993 --> 00:00:23.827 In 30 days we'll be kicking that baby to the curb. 8 00:00:23.862 --> 00:00:26.763 Hey, guys. Don't forget, Kyle and I have plans tonight. 9 00:00:26.799 --> 00:00:29.766 You're not gonna help us decorate the fire hazard? 10 00:00:29.802 --> 00:00:31.468 They are cultured, Mike. 11 00:00:31.503 --> 00:00:34.237 They are going to The Nutcracker with Kristin and Ryan. 12 00:00:34.273 --> 00:00:35.739 Yeah. I've never been to the ballet. 13 00:00:35.774 --> 00:00:39.443 I can't believe they get to wear slippers to work. 14 00:00:39.478 --> 00:00:42.179 Well, buckle up. It's three hours of people dancing, 15 00:00:42.214 --> 00:00:45.315 occasionally interrupted by people prancing. 16 00:00:46.952 --> 00:00:50.954 So, tonight, tonight'll just be you and me decorating. 17 00:00:50.990 --> 00:00:52.656 Hmm. You all right with that? 18 00:00:52.691 --> 00:00:53.924 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. 19 00:00:53.959 --> 00:00:55.492 It'll be like when we were just married, 20 00:00:55.527 --> 00:00:58.328 except our tree won't be a fern. 21 00:00:58.364 --> 00:01:00.163 And we won't make the star out of the tinfoil 22 00:01:00.199 --> 00:01:01.865 - out of a Jiffy Pop thing. - Mm. 23 00:01:01.900 --> 00:01:05.936 You, uh, you remember what we did with the butter? 24 00:01:05.971 --> 00:01:07.938 Okay. 25 00:01:07.973 --> 00:01:10.340 Come on, babe. I'll take you to work. 26 00:01:10.376 --> 00:01:12.420 But don't you want to know what they did with the butter? 27 00:01:12.770 --> 00:01:14.770 No. 28 00:01:15.180 --> 00:01:17.814 - Have fun, guys. - Eh. 29 00:01:17.850 --> 00:01:19.282 Do you, uh, you have time to eat? 30 00:01:19.318 --> 00:01:21.284 No. I'll eat at work. 31 00:01:21.320 --> 00:01:23.120 A vending machine breakfast. 32 00:01:23.155 --> 00:01:27.691 Glazed doughnuts and pork rinds and a emergency rain poncho. 33 00:01:27.726 --> 00:01:29.292 Hmm. 34 00:01:29.328 --> 00:01:31.294 You know what... 35 00:01:31.330 --> 00:01:34.297 I shouldn't give Ed a Christmas gift this year, right? 36 00:01:34.333 --> 00:01:36.199 That'd be... that'd be... that'd be stupid. 37 00:01:36.235 --> 00:01:39.236 Well, no, you-you and Ed never exchange gifts. 38 00:01:39.271 --> 00:01:41.400 Yeah. Yeah. 39 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:43.173 But, you know, I thought this year would be different 40 00:01:43.208 --> 00:01:44.408 'cause he retired. 41 00:01:44.443 --> 00:01:47.844 But that's not a good reason. 42 00:01:47.880 --> 00:01:50.247 No, I-I think that's a great reason. 43 00:01:50.282 --> 00:01:52.482 But I have so much on my plate! 44 00:01:52.518 --> 00:01:55.252 I-It feels like you want me to talk you out of this. 45 00:01:55.287 --> 00:01:57.888 Well, you're not doing a really good job of it. 46 00:01:57.923 --> 00:01:59.489 Honey, this-this is the first Christmas 47 00:01:59.525 --> 00:02:00.824 that Ed's not at the store. 48 00:02:00.859 --> 00:02:02.993 I-I think you should get him something special. 49 00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:05.396 Now it's got to be something special. 50 00:02:06.131 --> 00:02:09.132 Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com 51 00:02:13.972 --> 00:02:15.439 - Hey, Dad. - Hey. 52 00:02:15.474 --> 00:02:17.441 Just reminding you I'm leaving a little early tonight. 53 00:02:17.476 --> 00:02:19.776 That's right. Mom said you're going to The Nutcracker? 54 00:02:19.812 --> 00:02:22.212 Yay. Three hours of people leaping 55 00:02:22.247 --> 00:02:25.182 interrupted by people prancing. 56 00:02:25.217 --> 00:02:28.385 Sometimes you make me so proud. 57 00:02:28.420 --> 00:02:32.890 Uh, but I finished my personnel requests for next year. 58 00:02:32.124 --> 00:02:34.525 You know, I could've just sent that to you in an e-mail. 59 00:02:34.556 --> 00:02:35.125 Thanks. 60 00:02:35.160 --> 00:02:37.728 An e-mail doesn't keep loggers employed. 61 00:02:37.763 --> 00:02:39.730 Plus, when I hold 'em in my hand like this, 62 00:02:39.765 --> 00:02:42.566 I feel like I've finished my job. 63 00:02:42.601 --> 00:02:45.969 But I'm not finished yet! Chuck! 64 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:46.531 What's up? 65 00:02:46.562 --> 00:02:48.638 I'm gonna need those personnel reports, man. 66 00:02:48.674 --> 00:02:49.906 I got to start making these decisions 67 00:02:49.942 --> 00:02:51.274 before the end of the year. 68 00:02:51.310 --> 00:02:53.276 Oh! I'll have it to you by the end of the day. 69 00:02:53.312 --> 00:02:55.612 Carol's coming back from, uh, 70 00:02:55.647 --> 00:02:57.547 California for the holidays, and, uh, 71 00:02:57.583 --> 00:02:59.382 I need time to clean up the house. 72 00:02:59.418 --> 00:03:00.751 That's shocking. 73 00:03:00.786 --> 00:03:02.753 What, that a Marine cleans his house? 74 00:03:02.788 --> 00:03:06.890 No, that Carol's coming back to you? 75 00:03:07.693 --> 00:03:09.159 Good one, Baxter, 76 00:03:09.194 --> 00:03:10.927 he said, pretending the cruel joke 77 00:03:10.963 --> 00:03:13.960 didn't trigger his deepest insecurities. 78 00:03:13.132 --> 00:03:14.933 Hey, guys, can you think of any Christmas gift 79 00:03:14.967 --> 00:03:16.299 that Ed might want? 80 00:03:16.335 --> 00:03:18.735 How about a ticket to The Nutcracker? 81 00:03:18.771 --> 00:03:22.339 Why didn't we just stop having kids at you? 82 00:03:23.373 --> 00:03:25.130 Whenever I don't know what to get someone, 83 00:03:25.430 --> 00:03:26.176 I just get 'em a cheesecake. 84 00:03:26.211 --> 00:03:27.577 Everybody likes cheesecake. 85 00:03:27.613 --> 00:03:29.312 And if they don't, they might regift it to you 86 00:03:29.348 --> 00:03:31.982 and then, hey, free cheesecake. 87 00:03:32.170 --> 00:03:33.917 What's better than a cheesecake 88 00:03:33.952 --> 00:03:35.619 that's been passed around, you know? 89 00:03:35.654 --> 00:03:38.955 With that little tinge of salmonella in it. Yum, yum. 90 00:03:38.991 --> 00:03:41.358 Not everybody is as good at giving gifts as you, Dad. 91 00:03:41.393 --> 00:03:42.826 Okay, you always know what to get people. 92 00:03:42.861 --> 00:03:45.950 Identify the consumer's need 93 00:03:45.130 --> 00:03:47.430 and supply it. 94 00:03:47.466 --> 00:03:48.498 Who said that? 95 00:03:48.534 --> 00:03:49.800 Dad's favorite philosopher, 96 00:03:49.835 --> 00:03:52.350 - himself. - Oh. 97 00:03:52.700 --> 00:03:53.671 He was thinking of putting it 98 00:03:53.672 --> 00:03:55.772 - at the entrance to Baxterland. - Ah. 99 00:03:55.808 --> 00:03:57.440 At the corner of Mike Avenue 100 00:03:57.476 --> 00:03:59.442 and Know-It-All Lane. 101 00:03:59.478 --> 00:04:02.450 This know-it-all might have just figured out 102 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:04.481 what to get Ed for Christmas. 103 00:04:04.516 --> 00:04:06.950 Um... 104 00:04:06.985 --> 00:04:08.952 when I leave my office, 105 00:04:08.987 --> 00:04:11.888 it's a good idea for everyone else to leave my office. 106 00:04:11.924 --> 00:04:14.691 - But there's toys. - But there's toys. 107 00:04:30.742 --> 00:04:32.716 Wow, Mom, you're really in the Christmas spirit. 108 00:04:32.747 --> 00:04:33.210 Mm! 109 00:04:33.245 --> 00:04:35.645 Well, I'm doing one of my favorite things in the world. 110 00:04:36.682 --> 00:04:38.682 And decorating the tree. 111 00:04:40.452 --> 00:04:43.553 Ah. Uh, you guys... you're-you're leaving early. 112 00:04:43.589 --> 00:04:45.655 Oh, yeah, we're gonna meet at Kristin and Ryan's. 113 00:04:45.691 --> 00:04:48.558 - You have the tickets, babe? - Yeah. Uh, right here. 114 00:04:48.594 --> 00:04:50.393 Uh-oh. 115 00:04:50.429 --> 00:04:52.729 Says we're in the orchestra. 116 00:04:52.764 --> 00:04:56.833 I haven't played the tuba since high school. 117 00:04:56.869 --> 00:04:58.602 Oh, Mom... 118 00:04:58.637 --> 00:05:00.437 you don't have to hang my snowflake ornament 119 00:05:00.472 --> 00:05:01.571 I made in the second grade. 120 00:05:01.607 --> 00:05:03.730 Are you kidding? I love this. 121 00:05:03.108 --> 00:05:05.408 Great, because that was a test. Where you gonna put it? 122 00:05:05.444 --> 00:05:07.344 Uh... 123 00:05:07.379 --> 00:05:10.800 well, I was thinking of just... I'm putting it right here? 124 00:05:10.115 --> 00:05:12.282 There? Okay. 125 00:05:12.317 --> 00:05:14.584 Why? You have a better idea? 126 00:05:14.620 --> 00:05:15.719 - Yes, several. - Okay. 127 00:05:15.754 --> 00:05:18.188 Oh. Uh, 128 00:05:18.223 --> 00:05:20.390 Mandy was always in charge of ornaments. 129 00:05:20.425 --> 00:05:23.226 Yeah, because I'm great with visual placement. 130 00:05:23.262 --> 00:05:26.429 And I'm really, really tall. 131 00:05:26.465 --> 00:05:28.531 I'll just do one to get you started. 132 00:05:28.567 --> 00:05:29.432 Can I do one? 133 00:05:29.468 --> 00:05:30.467 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 134 00:05:30.502 --> 00:05:31.701 Here, you can have your pick. 135 00:05:31.737 --> 00:05:34.804 They're all wrapped in newspaper. 136 00:05:34.840 --> 00:05:38.141 Oh, this is from way back in January. 137 00:05:38.176 --> 00:05:41.278 Boy, did we miss out on a furniture sale. 138 00:05:42.581 --> 00:05:44.470 You know what, uh, 139 00:05:44.820 --> 00:05:45.949 this is gonna take me a little bit of time. 140 00:05:45.984 --> 00:05:48.585 So I'll just text Kristin and tell them to pick us up here. 141 00:05:48.620 --> 00:05:50.787 Are you sure? Honey, you know, you don't have to. It... 142 00:05:50.822 --> 00:05:52.289 Mom, if I let you decorate the tree, 143 00:05:52.324 --> 00:05:54.357 it'll take me hours to fix. 144 00:05:55.494 --> 00:05:58.929 No offense. Merry Christmas. 145 00:06:01.700 --> 00:06:04.334 Man, you're still working? 146 00:06:04.369 --> 00:06:06.269 Carol's not gonna like it if you're late, unless she's... 147 00:06:06.305 --> 00:06:07.904 on California time, dude. 148 00:06:10.943 --> 00:06:13.743 Well, you asked me to get a job done, so I'll get it done. 149 00:06:13.779 --> 00:06:14.945 And it'll be letter-perfect. 150 00:06:14.980 --> 00:06:17.113 Besides, Carol's still on 151 00:06:17.149 --> 00:06:20.183 Colorado "your ass better be on time" time. 152 00:06:21.954 --> 00:06:23.920 Hey, Ed. Glad I saw you. 153 00:06:23.956 --> 00:06:25.488 - I-I got something for you. - Good. 154 00:06:25.524 --> 00:06:28.910 I-I wanted to hand deliver these Christmas cards. 155 00:06:28.126 --> 00:06:30.930 - Much more personal than the mail. - Oh. 156 00:06:30.128 --> 00:06:31.361 Not to mention cheaper. 157 00:06:32.798 --> 00:06:35.432 125 employees times 50 cents. 158 00:06:35.467 --> 00:06:36.967 Adds up. 159 00:06:37.200 --> 00:06:38.201 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Very good. 160 00:06:38.236 --> 00:06:39.469 I did the math. Thank you very much. 161 00:06:39.504 --> 00:06:41.204 Come on, give me a break. Give me a break. 162 00:06:41.239 --> 00:06:43.940 I'm-I'm a retiree on a fixed income, all right? 163 00:06:43.976 --> 00:06:46.509 On your personal mega yacht. 164 00:06:47.980 --> 00:06:51.648 Listen, what are you doing here so late anyway, huh? 165 00:06:51.683 --> 00:06:54.617 Don't tell me that Mike Baxter has gotten behind. 166 00:06:54.653 --> 00:06:56.820 The only thing I'm behind is Reaganomics. 167 00:06:56.855 --> 00:07:00.557 And you're welcome for the boom-boom '80s, man. 168 00:07:00.592 --> 00:07:03.660 Still waiting for my trickle-down over here. 169 00:07:05.263 --> 00:07:06.863 Anyway, thanks for the card. 170 00:07:06.898 --> 00:07:09.299 But I did have extra time to get something for Christmas for you. 171 00:07:09.334 --> 00:07:10.400 So just wait there a minute. 172 00:07:10.435 --> 00:07:13.203 I-I just have a minute. Just a minute now here. 173 00:07:13.238 --> 00:07:14.471 I'm tending bar at the VFW. 174 00:07:14.506 --> 00:07:16.720 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 175 00:07:16.108 --> 00:07:18.508 I used to host Military Trivia Night. 176 00:07:18.543 --> 00:07:20.176 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, we had to give it up 177 00:07:20.212 --> 00:07:22.912 because, uh, most of the answers were "Germany." 178 00:07:24.820 --> 00:07:25.548 - Listen. - Yeah. 179 00:07:25.584 --> 00:07:27.817 The city says we can name our access road 180 00:07:27.853 --> 00:07:29.552 - to the store anything we want. - Uh-huh. 181 00:07:29.588 --> 00:07:32.550 So... 182 00:07:32.900 --> 00:07:34.157 What? Come on. 183 00:07:34.192 --> 00:07:36.559 Ed Alzate Way? 184 00:07:36.595 --> 00:07:38.395 So the road that brings people to Outdoor Man 185 00:07:38.430 --> 00:07:42.565 now honors the man that brought Outdoor Man to the people. 186 00:07:42.601 --> 00:07:44.000 I love that road, Mikey. 187 00:07:44.360 --> 00:07:46.603 It's-it's black down the middle, beige on the sides. 188 00:07:46.638 --> 00:07:48.710 Now, that's a road. 189 00:07:48.106 --> 00:07:49.672 Yeah, well, now the guys in the loading dock... 190 00:07:49.708 --> 00:07:50.868 - Yeah. - Won't just say, "Look, 191 00:07:50.876 --> 00:07:52.242 there's a dead raccoon in the road." 192 00:07:52.277 --> 00:07:55.712 They can say, "There's a dead raccoon on Ed Alzate." 193 00:07:58.754 --> 00:08:00.555 Well, that's... Mikey, you're the best, buddy. 194 00:08:00.585 --> 00:08:02.952 - Yeah. - You're-you're terrific. 195 00:08:02.988 --> 00:08:04.387 Chuck, look at this. 196 00:08:04.423 --> 00:08:05.789 I got a street. 197 00:08:05.824 --> 00:08:07.624 - I got a street. - Yeah. - 198 00:08:07.659 --> 00:08:10.427 Okay, good. 199 00:08:10.462 --> 00:08:13.263 Did he seem a little too happy? 200 00:08:13.298 --> 00:08:15.732 Yep. 201 00:08:15.767 --> 00:08:17.300 So, he hated it. 202 00:08:17.335 --> 00:08:19.436 Yep. 203 00:08:24.477 --> 00:08:26.277 Hey, Mike Baxter for Outdoor Man. 204 00:08:26.313 --> 00:08:28.446 Christmas is just around the corner, 205 00:08:28.481 --> 00:08:30.682 so someone you love is out there right now 206 00:08:30.717 --> 00:08:33.351 getting you something you don't need, you don't want, 207 00:08:33.386 --> 00:08:36.554 and you can't return until they're not looking. 208 00:08:36.590 --> 00:08:38.389 And the kicker for some of you 209 00:08:38.425 --> 00:08:39.958 is they're doing it with your money. 210 00:08:39.993 --> 00:08:41.559 Wow. 211 00:08:41.595 --> 00:08:43.828 Yeah, the biggest challenge of the holiday season 212 00:08:43.863 --> 00:08:46.231 isn't long lines or finding a place to park... 213 00:08:46.266 --> 00:08:49.330 it's opening a present and not having your face say 214 00:08:49.690 --> 00:08:50.702 what you're actually feeling. 215 00:08:50.737 --> 00:08:52.303 See, your face has to say... 216 00:08:52.339 --> 00:08:54.138 "Oh, I really love this." 217 00:08:54.174 --> 00:08:56.140 And what you're really thinking is, 218 00:08:56.176 --> 00:08:58.543 "Really? Really? 219 00:08:58.578 --> 00:09:00.378 Really?" 220 00:09:00.413 --> 00:09:02.880 We all want a present that knocks our socks off, 221 00:09:02.916 --> 00:09:05.550 but we don't want socks. 222 00:09:05.585 --> 00:09:09.220 Ben Carson said, "Happiness doesn't result from what we get 223 00:09:09.256 --> 00:09:11.222 but from what we give." 224 00:09:11.258 --> 00:09:13.725 Spoken like someone whose family gets him lousy gifts. 225 00:09:13.760 --> 00:09:15.493 Right, Ben? 226 00:09:15.528 --> 00:09:18.663 If only there was a retail chain where you could be confident 227 00:09:18.698 --> 00:09:20.832 they're gonna love whatever you get them. 228 00:09:20.867 --> 00:09:23.501 Oh, wait, I'm sitting in one. 229 00:09:23.536 --> 00:09:26.104 And in Outdoor Man, if you don't like your new crossbow, 230 00:09:26.139 --> 00:09:27.171 you can return it. 231 00:09:27.207 --> 00:09:28.673 But you're gonna like it. 232 00:09:28.708 --> 00:09:30.675 Because, unlike the people buying your gifts, 233 00:09:30.710 --> 00:09:33.411 our crossbows actually hit their targets. 234 00:09:33.446 --> 00:09:35.680 So, from all of us at Outdoor Man 235 00:09:35.715 --> 00:09:37.682 to all of you looking for the perfect gift, 236 00:09:37.717 --> 00:09:40.251 happy hunting and merry Christmas. 237 00:09:40.287 --> 00:09:42.553 Baxter out. 238 00:09:45.425 --> 00:09:47.392 Ooh. 239 00:09:47.427 --> 00:09:50.628 It's the box with the stockings, babe. 240 00:09:50.664 --> 00:09:53.197 Uh-oh. 241 00:09:53.233 --> 00:09:55.990 You gonna be okay? 242 00:09:55.135 --> 00:09:56.534 Should I get the tissues? 243 00:09:56.569 --> 00:09:58.202 No, I'm fine. 244 00:09:58.238 --> 00:10:00.438 I think I got it all out of my system last year. 245 00:10:02.800 --> 00:10:04.242 So what if Mrs. B sewed my name on a stocking 246 00:10:04.277 --> 00:10:06.644 that welcomed me to the family? 247 00:10:06.680 --> 00:10:08.790 It's no big deal. 248 00:10:09.316 --> 00:10:13.117 It's just a love stocking. 249 00:10:13.153 --> 00:10:15.586 Guys, hey. Hello? Ryan's been honking. 250 00:10:15.622 --> 00:10:19.757 Uh, Kristin, a lady never responds to a honk. 251 00:10:19.793 --> 00:10:21.993 Ooh! The tree looks great. 252 00:10:22.280 --> 00:10:23.428 Nice balance, Mandy. 253 00:10:23.463 --> 00:10:25.563 Thanks. It's subtle. 254 00:10:25.598 --> 00:10:27.332 The theme is "Christmas Here and Now!" 255 00:10:28.466 --> 00:10:29.906 Hey, Kristin. I thought I heard you. 256 00:10:29.936 --> 00:10:30.902 - Oh, hey, Mom. - Hi. 257 00:10:30.937 --> 00:10:31.903 Mwah. 258 00:10:31.938 --> 00:10:34.472 Oh, no, Kyle found his stocking. 259 00:10:35.508 --> 00:10:37.775 It's a beauty, Mrs. B. 260 00:10:37.811 --> 00:10:39.100 Well, maybe we should keep it out all year 261 00:10:39.450 --> 00:10:40.778 so you don't get so overwhelmed. 262 00:10:40.814 --> 00:10:43.815 No, I-I can handle it. 263 00:10:46.186 --> 00:10:47.785 Ryan, I thought we were on our way out. 264 00:10:47.821 --> 00:10:49.420 I know. Boyd has to use the bathroom. 265 00:10:49.456 --> 00:10:52.824 I'll be fast. I won't even wash my hands. 266 00:10:52.859 --> 00:10:54.492 Ooh, is that hot chocolate? 267 00:10:54.527 --> 00:10:56.494 Uh, yeah. Kyle and Mandy insisted. 268 00:10:56.529 --> 00:10:58.429 I'd make you guys some, but... 269 00:10:58.465 --> 00:11:01.466 - but don't you have to go? - Uh, we have time. Right, Ryan? 270 00:11:01.501 --> 00:11:03.968 - Uh... okay, yeah. One cup. - Yeah? 271 00:11:04.300 --> 00:11:06.437 Um, with some marshmallows. 272 00:11:06.473 --> 00:11:08.506 - Yeah. Okay. - And maybe a little nutmeg. 273 00:11:08.541 --> 00:11:10.975 Actually, you know what? I'll just make it. 274 00:11:11.100 --> 00:11:14.445 Oh, Mandy, wow, the tree is really looking great. 275 00:11:14.481 --> 00:11:15.546 Uh... 276 00:11:15.582 --> 00:11:16.948 actually, I wouldn't say great. 277 00:11:16.983 --> 00:11:18.182 I'd say incomplete. 278 00:11:18.218 --> 00:11:19.951 There's no candy canes. 279 00:11:19.986 --> 00:11:22.286 Well, I wasn't going to do that. That's your job. 280 00:11:22.322 --> 00:11:25.189 Well, I guess I can at least start. 281 00:11:25.225 --> 00:11:27.225 And you're right, it is my job, 282 00:11:27.260 --> 00:11:29.193 because I am great at it. 283 00:11:29.229 --> 00:11:31.129 Cool! Are we all gonna decorate the tree? 284 00:11:31.164 --> 00:11:34.198 No, no, no. I'm sorry, sweetie. You probably have to go. 285 00:11:34.234 --> 00:11:36.367 Do we? 286 00:11:36.403 --> 00:11:39.504 I think your dad really wants to see the ballet. 287 00:11:39.539 --> 00:11:42.306 You know what? I am back there making the perfect cup of cocoa, 288 00:11:42.342 --> 00:11:44.876 and I realize I'm not even gonna have time to drink it. 289 00:11:44.911 --> 00:11:47.440 Oh. Maybe you could. Uh, how would you feel 290 00:11:47.800 --> 00:11:49.414 about staying a little while and helping with the tree? 291 00:11:49.449 --> 00:11:51.516 Uh... well, we have really good seats, 292 00:11:51.551 --> 00:11:53.818 and, I mean, it's just a tree. 293 00:11:53.853 --> 00:11:55.653 Hey, Ryan, check it out. 294 00:11:55.688 --> 00:11:58.890 It's your stocking. 295 00:11:58.124 --> 00:12:00.124 Oh, boy. 296 00:12:03.430 --> 00:12:05.229 Yeah, there it is. 297 00:12:09.869 --> 00:12:11.335 - Hey, Ed? - Hmm? 298 00:12:11.371 --> 00:12:13.671 Do you know how to make a cosmopolitan? 299 00:12:13.706 --> 00:12:16.374 Of course, of course, yeah. 300 00:12:16.409 --> 00:12:18.376 I just won't. 301 00:12:18.411 --> 00:12:19.911 Okay. 302 00:12:25.110 --> 00:12:25.971 What are you doing here? 303 00:12:25.976 --> 00:12:27.891 Well, after your little performance at work, 304 00:12:27.921 --> 00:12:31.355 I thought I'd stop by and find out why you hated my gift. 305 00:12:31.391 --> 00:12:34.592 I didn't hate it. I loved it. Best gift I ever got. 306 00:12:34.627 --> 00:12:36.694 And the Oscar goes to anybody else. 307 00:12:36.729 --> 00:12:38.529 Come on, why did you hate it? 308 00:12:38.565 --> 00:12:40.398 All right, all right. I didn't like it. 309 00:12:40.433 --> 00:12:44.101 You know who gets streets named after them? Dead guys. 310 00:12:44.137 --> 00:12:48.372 This is why I gave it to you this year and not... next year. 311 00:12:48.408 --> 00:12:50.775 Made me realize that my career at Outdoor Man 312 00:12:50.810 --> 00:12:52.210 is really over. 313 00:12:52.245 --> 00:12:54.545 You also realize you could come back to work 314 00:12:54.581 --> 00:12:56.800 anytime you wanted? 315 00:12:56.115 --> 00:12:58.282 When a man wakes up in the morning, 316 00:12:58.318 --> 00:13:00.418 he needs to wake up with a purpose. 317 00:13:00.453 --> 00:13:03.120 You see, I'm not needed at Outdoor Man. 318 00:13:03.156 --> 00:13:05.890 I realize that now, thanks to you. 319 00:13:05.925 --> 00:13:08.893 Doesn't sound like you're very grateful. 320 00:13:08.928 --> 00:13:10.628 I actually am. 321 00:13:10.663 --> 00:13:14.980 I need to look forward, Mikey, not backwards. 322 00:13:14.133 --> 00:13:16.567 All right, I think I understand. 323 00:13:16.603 --> 00:13:18.402 You know what? I don't think you do, really. 324 00:13:18.438 --> 00:13:19.837 You know why I tend bar here? 325 00:13:19.873 --> 00:13:22.940 Sure. You don't have to pay for Sex on the Beach. 326 00:13:22.976 --> 00:13:25.443 Because I like to talk to the veterans here 327 00:13:25.478 --> 00:13:28.246 who feel the same way I do. Like Billy there. 328 00:13:28.281 --> 00:13:30.281 Yeah, look at him. He ran a munitions depot. 329 00:13:30.316 --> 00:13:32.283 Huge warehouse. 330 00:13:32.318 --> 00:13:34.819 Yes, moved ordnance all over the Middle East. Yeah. 331 00:13:34.854 --> 00:13:37.154 Now he drives an Uber. 332 00:13:37.190 --> 00:13:38.856 Really? 333 00:13:38.892 --> 00:13:40.691 Yeah, just until he finds a place 334 00:13:40.727 --> 00:13:42.693 that can use his unique skills. 335 00:13:42.729 --> 00:13:44.695 We all have hope. 336 00:13:44.731 --> 00:13:47.310 Yep. 337 00:13:47.660 --> 00:13:49.330 - You make a great bartender. - Yeah. 338 00:13:49.680 --> 00:13:50.968 Listen, if you want to give me another gift, 339 00:13:51.400 --> 00:13:52.970 I could use a... a new cashmere coat. 340 00:13:53.600 --> 00:13:55.306 You know, I think I'm done giving gifts. 341 00:13:55.341 --> 00:13:57.842 What do I look like, Santa Claus? 342 00:14:05.601 --> 00:14:08.340 - Oh, Kris, what are you doing here? - Hmm. 343 00:14:08.700 --> 00:14:09.770 Nutcracker started, what, a half hour ago. 344 00:14:09.805 --> 00:14:12.506 You're gonna miss the "Dance of the Fairy Nuts," or whatever. 345 00:14:12.541 --> 00:14:14.941 I'm gonna be completely honest with you. 346 00:14:14.977 --> 00:14:17.310 The Nutcracker can kiss my ass. 347 00:14:18.781 --> 00:14:21.248 This kid! 348 00:14:22.718 --> 00:14:24.918 Isn't this great? Th-The Christmas spirit 349 00:14:24.953 --> 00:14:27.530 burst in here, grabbed them by their throats 350 00:14:27.890 --> 00:14:29.222 and won't let them leave. 351 00:14:29.258 --> 00:14:31.792 Sounds like a scary Christmas movie. 352 00:14:31.827 --> 00:14:34.628 "This year, Santa doesn't care who's naughty or nice... 353 00:14:34.663 --> 00:14:36.429 everybody's gettin' it." 354 00:14:38.267 --> 00:14:40.233 Hey, take a look at this Christmas tree. 355 00:14:40.269 --> 00:14:42.602 I made it look fabulous from every angle. 356 00:14:42.638 --> 00:14:45.705 It's the Beyoncé of Christmas trees. 357 00:14:45.741 --> 00:14:49.750 If you like it, then you better put a star on it. 358 00:14:50.646 --> 00:14:54.481 Starting to regret putting a ring on it. 359 00:14:54.516 --> 00:14:58.118 Hey, Dad, look how good Kyle's getting at stringing popcorn. 360 00:14:58.153 --> 00:15:02.322 Yeah, the key I've learned is making sure you pop it first. 361 00:15:02.357 --> 00:15:04.558 And I made my special family cocoa recipe. 362 00:15:04.593 --> 00:15:06.226 The secret ingredient is 363 00:15:06.261 --> 00:15:07.894 peppermint schnapps. 364 00:15:07.930 --> 00:15:10.163 Mmm. 365 00:15:10.199 --> 00:15:13.200 Ah, Ryan made mine extra secret. 366 00:15:15.938 --> 00:15:17.671 Is this okay? I know we were planning 367 00:15:17.706 --> 00:15:19.773 on it just being the two of us. 368 00:15:19.808 --> 00:15:22.289 As hard as I try, I just can't get sick of these kids. 369 00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:22.909 Yeah. 370 00:15:22.945 --> 00:15:24.978 It's just too bad Eve's not here, huh? 371 00:15:25.130 --> 00:15:26.847 Well... 372 00:15:29.318 --> 00:15:31.117 Oh, my God... 373 00:15:31.153 --> 00:15:33.887 Oh, it's Chuck. 374 00:15:36.225 --> 00:15:38.491 - Hi. How are you? - Hey, everybody. 375 00:15:38.527 --> 00:15:40.994 I got those personnel requests you wanted. 376 00:15:41.290 --> 00:15:43.530 Thank you, man, good for you. 377 00:15:43.565 --> 00:15:47.500 Boy, you military guys sure get the job done, don't you? Yes! 378 00:15:47.536 --> 00:15:49.502 Well, you asked a Marine for a thorough job. 379 00:15:49.538 --> 00:15:51.538 That's like asking the Pope to go to church. 380 00:15:51.573 --> 00:15:53.974 You know he's gonna stay for the whole Mass. 381 00:15:54.900 --> 00:15:56.276 I just wish I had more guys like you. 382 00:15:56.311 --> 00:15:58.211 Well, thanks, Baxter. 383 00:15:58.247 --> 00:16:01.281 Someone's getting a cheesecake. Feel free to regift. 384 00:16:01.316 --> 00:16:02.816 Merry Christmas, everybody. 385 00:16:02.851 --> 00:16:04.284 - Merry Christmas, Chuck. - Merry Christmas. 386 00:16:04.319 --> 00:16:06.253 - Good-bye. - Merry Christmas, Chuck. 387 00:16:08.323 --> 00:16:11.625 Hey, honey? I got a little errand to do. 388 00:16:11.660 --> 00:16:13.293 But, honey, the whole family's here. 389 00:16:13.328 --> 00:16:15.729 I know, I got to go to a bar. 390 00:16:23.171 --> 00:16:26.390 Hey. Look, I'm glad I found you before you took off 391 00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:28.742 - on your trip. - Yeah? 392 00:16:28.777 --> 00:16:30.644 What's this? 393 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:35.810 It's a chance for you to give me a nice gift, you cheap bastard. 394 00:16:35.117 --> 00:16:37.350 Because of the awesome job I'm doing at Outdoor Man, 395 00:16:37.386 --> 00:16:39.252 we're expanding. These are personnel reports 396 00:16:39.288 --> 00:16:41.855 from each department. We're looking for new hires. 397 00:16:41.890 --> 00:16:44.324 Well, thanks for explaining the business to me. 398 00:16:44.359 --> 00:16:46.893 Let me return the favor by reminding you 399 00:16:46.929 --> 00:16:49.162 that you have a personnel department. 400 00:16:49.197 --> 00:16:53.433 You know exactly the kind of people I want for these jobs. 401 00:16:53.468 --> 00:16:55.101 So you came here to brag, huh? 402 00:16:55.137 --> 00:16:56.703 You're a piece of work, Mikey. 403 00:16:56.738 --> 00:16:59.406 Listen. I want people looking for a place 404 00:16:59.441 --> 00:17:02.409 to apply their unique skills. 405 00:17:04.460 --> 00:17:06.746 - You're talking about veterans? - Mm-hmm. 406 00:17:06.782 --> 00:17:08.748 These people? 407 00:17:08.784 --> 00:17:11.885 And I'm looking for somebody who knows their specific skill sets, 408 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:14.287 so they can match them to the correct position. 409 00:17:14.323 --> 00:17:15.689 Ed... 410 00:17:15.724 --> 00:17:17.724 we need you. 411 00:17:18.961 --> 00:17:21.270 I'd say you're just being nice, 412 00:17:21.630 --> 00:17:24.531 but we both know that's... that's not your strong suit. 413 00:17:24.566 --> 00:17:26.320 Listen, this isn't just Denver. 414 00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:27.901 I mean, this is all the stores. 415 00:17:27.936 --> 00:17:29.670 We're gonna be doing a lot of new hires. 416 00:17:29.701 --> 00:17:30.103 Yeah. 417 00:17:30.138 --> 00:17:32.572 Obviously, we'd coordinate with local VFWs and the VA. 418 00:17:32.607 --> 00:17:35.410 Also, I could reach out to the discharge offices 419 00:17:35.770 --> 00:17:36.943 - of military bases. - Yep. 420 00:17:36.979 --> 00:17:38.411 Sounds like a lot of work for a guy 421 00:17:38.447 --> 00:17:41.381 who just started his career as a bartender. 422 00:17:41.416 --> 00:17:43.116 Department of Labor has a Veterans' Employment 423 00:17:43.151 --> 00:17:45.151 - and Training site. I'll contact them. - Mm-hmm. 424 00:17:45.187 --> 00:17:48.880 I like the fact you still use paper, Mikey. 425 00:17:48.123 --> 00:17:50.490 Well, you know me... old-fashioned. 426 00:17:50.525 --> 00:17:51.791 Yeah, me, too, pal. 427 00:17:51.827 --> 00:17:54.327 No, I'd like you to make me an old-fashioned. 428 00:17:54.363 --> 00:17:56.162 Yeah. Please. I've got work to do. 429 00:17:56.198 --> 00:17:58.298 Now, what the hell are you doing here? 430 00:17:58.333 --> 00:18:01.267 Wow. I missed your sunny disposition. 431 00:18:01.303 --> 00:18:04.404 Mikey, they always said you give the best gifts. 432 00:18:04.439 --> 00:18:06.172 They're right. 433 00:18:10.779 --> 00:18:12.412 We should do this again next year. 434 00:18:12.447 --> 00:18:14.781 It's way more fun than going to the ballet. 435 00:18:14.816 --> 00:18:16.349 Yeah. I'm a little bummed. 436 00:18:16.385 --> 00:18:18.685 I mean, when will I ever get another chance 437 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:22.880 to see The Nutcracker at Christmas? 438 00:18:22.124 --> 00:18:24.424 You know, this might be the schnapps talking, 439 00:18:24.459 --> 00:18:26.426 - but I love you guys. - Aw. 440 00:18:26.461 --> 00:18:28.795 Mmm, it's definitely the schnapps. 441 00:18:28.830 --> 00:18:30.163 But me, too! 442 00:18:30.198 --> 00:18:32.132 Cheers, everyone! 443 00:18:32.167 --> 00:18:34.701 Geez, settle down, people. 444 00:18:34.736 --> 00:18:35.316 Hey, Dad. 445 00:18:35.347 --> 00:18:37.667 I don't know what's more lit, the tree or you people. 446 00:18:39.174 --> 00:18:41.700 Where... where'd you go? 447 00:18:41.430 --> 00:18:43.343 Uh, VFW Hall. Worked something out with Ed. 448 00:18:43.378 --> 00:18:45.145 Oh. Well, good. I'm glad you're back. 449 00:18:45.180 --> 00:18:47.180 You know, I was excited about starting a new tradition 450 00:18:47.215 --> 00:18:49.616 with just the two of us, but I'm glad the kids want 451 00:18:49.651 --> 00:18:51.451 to keep our old family traditions alive. 452 00:18:51.486 --> 00:18:53.453 Well, we have these traditions, 'cause a lot 453 00:18:53.488 --> 00:18:55.409 of brave men and women fought for them. 454 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:55.889 Yeah. 455 00:18:55.924 --> 00:18:58.491 I guess the only thing we have left to do is to... 456 00:18:58.527 --> 00:18:59.859 put the star on the tree. 457 00:18:59.895 --> 00:19:01.461 Yeah. Eve used to do that, 458 00:19:01.496 --> 00:19:03.696 but I guess I'll do it, 'cause none of you 459 00:19:03.732 --> 00:19:06.466 should get on a stepladder, I'll tell you that right now. 460 00:19:06.501 --> 00:19:09.690 Wait, Mom, where is the star? 461 00:19:09.104 --> 00:19:11.304 Well, since your dad and I were planning on starting 462 00:19:11.339 --> 00:19:13.640 - a new tradition, I-I ordered a new one... -Mike: What? 463 00:19:13.675 --> 00:19:15.475 And it is being delivered right now. 464 00:19:16.545 --> 00:19:19.179 Who delivers a star that fast? 465 00:19:19.214 --> 00:19:21.981 Ooh, maybe it's Santa. 466 00:19:22.170 --> 00:19:24.584 Oh, I haven't finished my list. 467 00:19:26.188 --> 00:19:28.154 Hey, hey... 468 00:19:28.190 --> 00:19:30.890 Hey, Dad! Merry Christmas! 469 00:19:35.970 --> 00:19:37.163 I thought it was gonna be Chuck. 470 00:19:37.199 --> 00:19:39.566 I was supposed to bring a star. 471 00:19:39.601 --> 00:19:41.734 Hey, you are the star. Come on in. 472 00:19:41.770 --> 00:19:43.436 - Come here! Hi. - Hi. 473 00:19:43.472 --> 00:19:44.604 Yeah. 474 00:19:44.639 --> 00:19:46.206 How did you do this? 475 00:19:46.241 --> 00:19:48.608 Well, when the kids decided to stay and help decorate, 476 00:19:48.643 --> 00:19:51.511 I called Eve and-and convinced her to hop on the bus. 477 00:19:51.546 --> 00:19:53.546 Yeah, which sounded horrible, so I took an Uber. 478 00:19:53.582 --> 00:19:56.249 Mmm. Wait a minute. You took an Uber? 479 00:19:56.284 --> 00:20:00.860 Yeah. You owe me $111. 480 00:20:00.122 --> 00:20:02.422 Well, it was so worth it to have you here. 481 00:20:02.457 --> 00:20:05.358 Shouldn't we all get $111? 482 00:20:05.393 --> 00:20:08.461 You know what? This family loves its traditions. 483 00:20:08.497 --> 00:20:10.296 Yeah. Old-fashioned. 484 00:20:10.332 --> 00:20:12.532 Yeah, yeah, we are kind of old-fashioned. 485 00:20:12.567 --> 00:20:14.934 No. I'm gonna make an old-fashioned. 486 00:20:26.885 --> 00:20:29.166 You know why that's called "The Twelve Days of Christmas"? 487 00:20:29.196 --> 00:20:31.397 'Cause that's how long it takes to sing the damn song. 488 00:20:31.432 --> 00:20:33.980 All right? Guys, we got to think 489 00:20:33.134 --> 00:20:35.334 - of something else. - Okay, don't anyone go anywhere. 490 00:20:35.369 --> 00:20:38.370 - We have written a new Christmas carol. - Oh. 491 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:40.572 It's gonna be a classic. 492 00:20:56.624 --> 00:20:58.590 It was one time. 493 00:21:11.238 --> 00:21:13.739 I love it, I love it. Thank you, guys. 494 00:21:13.774 --> 00:21:16.875 I hope that's not my only Christmas gift. 495 00:21:16.911 --> 00:21:19.478 Oh, uh, uh, well, we have another. Uh... 496 00:21:19.513 --> 00:21:20.913 - Great. - Hmm?